BEAUTY IN BROKENNESS

Reflecting...... 

About two and a half weeks ago I had a job interview for a position that I had not planned on applying for.  

After pondering if I should apply for the job and with the motivation of family and friends, I applied.  

Although my life has not been completely bad, there have been many times that I've said, "I'm not good enough, I don't qualify, and I don't think I can do it!"  

The morning of my interview, full of butterflies and worries, I was prompted to put my pin on from "Beauty in Brokenness."  I heard the clear voice of God and He said "go put your pin on!"  (Mind you, I don't wear my pin often, only on special occasions)!  

So I go and put my pin on and I look in the mirror and The Lord spoke to me again and said, "I have created you! Daughter of mine, you are more then qualified!  I have made every detail of you carefully so that you would bring change to the world.  A hope that one would find Only in Me!  And although man disqualifies you, I The Lord breathed life to you and made you more than enough!  

"The pin that you are wearing is a pin that was made from broken pieces, unused items, and pretty much objects that needed to go in the trash," BUT God!  

The Lord reminded me at that moment that although I had been someone that was broken, stripped, wounded, used up, tried, discouraged, and hurt......... He mended me, loved me, encouraged me, blessed me, gave me strength, and told me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made!  He made ME whole again!  Although I was broken, He fixed me!  He made me beautiful even in my brokenness!  

Needless to say, after 3 interviews, I got the job as a Community School Director!  God is faithful and He reminds me that He takes care of His people!  Never in a million years did I think Id hold a position as a Director in the Corporate World!  I'm truly blessed and looking forward to working with the School, Youth, Families and the Community of Hartford!  Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something!  If God is for you, who can be against you?! 

Thank you Lord for Pastor Susana Viera that you would give her such a vision with the ministry, "Beauty in Brokenness!"  

If you'd like to purchase a pin, please email Pastor Suzie at suev62@icloud.com. All of these pins are hand crafted by her and not one is the same!  It's made from buttons, and other pieces that are at home and not being put to use! The message and testimony that comes with it is very powerful!  Buy one for yourself, a friend, a wife, or loved one!  Anyone that owns one will truly be blessed!  Be encouraged and know that God always has the final say! ❤️ 

So, Here's my pic on my interview Day 1 with my pin! 😁❤️

STRIPPED & SHAKEN......BUT GOD

Have you ever been stripped?  Whether stripped from loved ones, material things, hope, or needed things?  Have things ever gotten to the point that you just don't know if you could recover from it?  Has being stripped brought you to the point that it has shaken or rocked your world?  

I'm not to sure about you, but it has definitely happen to me.  You see, although I am a Christian and try to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord, I still get rocked.  Being a Christian doesn't necessarily mean that everything is smooth sailing and challenges will not exist.  That is far from the truth!  Truth be told, sometimes we are the ones that get the big hits.  

Many things have happened in my 39 years of life.  But the one thing that rocked me the most.......... The death of my three year old daughter.  Who would of thought?  Why me?  Lord I have been serving you faithfully, I love my kids, I have a strong family support system, and I live to worship you...... Why me?  The life of my three year old daughter gone, without reason, I just don't understand why me of all people to choose from. 

There came a point and time that I questioned God so much because I wanted answers!  I even told Him, "there are so many people that abuse their kids, and don't love them.  Why would you take mine?  I love my daughters and take very good care of them.  Why my little girl?"  

Julie was her name, Julie Yvette Gonzalez!  Our second daughter.  She was the funniest character.  She definitely was one to give me a run for my money.  She was a spit fire, observant, talkative, attitude (a good one, ha), and just plain real.  She impacted many people by simply being herself.  She would play with all the other kids and would act like little mother goose.  

One thing that I would say about Julie is that her worship for God was so pure. Every service, she would be the first one in the front dancing before the Lord. Giving honor to the King is what my baby girl would do continuously.  What a joy for me to see her honor God, I was a proud mom! :)

Julie, after she was about 1 year old, she would continually get sick.  Sick, as in cold symptoms.... runny nose, fever, some vomiting, puffy eyes, etc.  We would take her to the hospital and they would never find anything wrong with her.  "Oh she's fine, just give her some Tylenol, and pedia-lite."  But this went on for way to long.  It was getting so bad that doctors would check her and still "nothing is wrong."  Then they would check her veins.... and guess what?  Her veins would be collapsed due to the lack of liquids not being held down.  

One day, on August 18, 1997, our daughter, Julie Yvette Gonzalez, never made it through the night.  Julie was resting in my room because she didn't feel well,(mind you she had a doctor's appt in the morning).  I walked into my room and as she was laying down on my floor in my room, she was taking her last breath........... I started freaking out.... I ran out screaming my mothers name... MOMMMMMMM......  She was foaming at the mouth, my mother picked her up and brought her to the kitchen floor.  Our neighbor, Amy, who happened to be at our house, was on the phone with 911, and my mother was trying to revive her.  This had to be the longest hours of my life.  

Paramedics arrive..... I'm huddled in the corner sobbing, my father bust through the back door to try and help, and my husband had just gotten home from work.  The blank stare in her eyes...... No words!  We rushed to the hospital in the ambulance and as were both(my husband & I) were wondering if she was going to make it.  After at least 2 hours of the doctors trying to bring our Julie back, the doctors came in to our room to give us the news.  Mr. and Mrs. Gonzalez, we are truly sorry, but your daughter did not make it.  We did everything we could.  If you would like to see her and spend time with her, we will gladly provide a room for your family and friends.  
Wailing, hearts crushed, heavy and hollowed hearts, hurt, stripped and shaken!

Disbelief!  My heart is still heavy just writing about it.... my eyes are full of tears... Our little girl will not go to high school, college, marry, or give us grand children.  Our little girl has left us, how do we live without her?  I wanted to shout out to the WORLD....."EVERYBODY STOP TALKING, WALKING, GOING TO WORK, AND LIVING, OUR LITTLE GIRL HAS PASSED.  DON'T MOVE!!!!!!!"  My mind was everywhere...... Why me?  

I know that this is not everyone's story, but it is my story.  We never knew what happened?  We had an autopsy done and the results..... UNDETERMINED!  Why me Lord?  Everything came back normal in the autopsy.  I couldn't wrap my head around what had taken place.  My Lord, help me.  

I understand now that her mission in this life was accomplished and she is with the eternal Father.  When I think of what we went through during that time, I can't help but think of Job in the Bible.  Job lost everything, his family, his crops, his livestock, land, health, etc.  But even through all that, Job was a man of faith, patience and endurance.  Through his loss, he still believed in the Almighty God and trusted that the Lord would not forsake him, nor leave him.  Job suffered intense emotional and physical pain.  And he too, didn't know why he was suffering.  

In the end, God gave Job more and abundant.  Job was a blessed man, he stood faithful to God regardless of what had taken place and there was no answer.  

Often we suffer consequences for bad decisions and actions.  Job's willingness to repent and confess known wrongs is a good guideline for us.  Sometimes suffering shapes us for special service to others.  Sometimes suffering is an attack by satan on our lives.  And sometimes we don't know why we suffer.  At those times, are we willing to trust God in spite of unanswered questions? 

I know I am!  It was a hard, long process for our family.  But GOD!!!  He restored us, and although Julie can NEVER be replaced, He gave us a double portion.  The Lord granted us two more daughters, in which are 11 months apart.  They are now 13 and 12, and of course our oldest, which is 22 now. The Lord gave us the strength to carry on and fill us up again.  If it hadn't been for God..... I'm SO sure that I would have been stripped, shaken and destroyed!  BUT GOD!  

James 5:10,11
For examples of patience in suffering, dear brothers and sisters, look at the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.  We give great honor to those who endure under suffering.  For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance.  You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.

This was rather big for our family..... What are you stripped and shaken about? Are you really trusting God to pull you through?  

Julie Yvette Gonzalez
2/10/94 - 8/18/97 RIP...... Until we meet again! Never forgotten!

FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE

I have found that many people turn up their nose when they hear the word forgive or forgiveness.  Anything that has to do with forgiving is frowned upon. 

Understanding that when you are hurt repeatedly, it is much more difficult to let go of what has been done to you.  You begin to build walls and not allow anyone to enter into your circle.  You have caution signs all around you as if you are untouchable.  Your heart becomes solid as a rock and there is no moving that heart of stone! 

Unforgiveness does not play in its circle by itself.  Unforgiveness has important components to help it work more effectively.  Once unforgiveness begins... bitterness, resentment, anger, hate, rage, and low self-esteem, to name a few, begin to work hand in hand.  You become blind to see any good of many other people, or rather all you see is bad.  Life shouldn't be this way. 

John 10:10
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly

You see..... the reality is that we have given into having an unforgiving heart.  We have allowed the enemy to come in and steal our joy, kill our spirit, and destroy our mission, ministry, and life that God has set in place for us. 

There have been many things that have happened in our lives that simply seem unforgivable.  There are many people that often wonder how can I carry on when so much damage has been done to me?  Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, rejection, abandonment, neglect, and the list goes on and on.  Some cases more severe then others.  The pain and agony of why me?  Why did I have to suffer such things?  What did I do to deserve this?   

The truth is that you didn't deserve any of the pain and suffering that you have endured.  I know that there is nothing that I could say to make anything easier for you.  However, I do serve a God that can heal your heart and bring you comfort.   You will probably never forget what has taken place in your life, but the God that I serve will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding so that you can carry on in life without torment.  You can have the victory!

The enemy doesn't want you to be free from the bondage of unforgiveness.  It probably feels good to hold the grudge against the other person, but you need to realize that they are keeping you hostage to the things they have done to you.  God has called us to be free. 

John 8:36
So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. 

When you forgive the other person, freedom takes place, and anger, bitterness, resentment, etc begin to cease.  When God is in the midst of your life and you have surrendered, there is no room for unforgiveness and its components. 

Furthermore, the Bible says:

Matthew 6:15
But if you refuse to forgive others, your father will not forgive your sins.

Forgive others that have wronged you, cheated, hurt, and or abused you.  There is freedom in forgiveness!  God wants you to be free and delivered.  It is easy to ask God for forgiveness but difficult to grant it to others.  Whenever we ask God to forgive us for sin, we should ask, Have I forgiven the people who have wronged me?

Ephesians 4:32
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

I understand that this is easier said then done, but it's not impossible.  Allow God to heal you, forgive you, show you unconditional love, set you free, and remind you of His grace that is sufficient.  God is waiting for you to give Him your burdens.... Be set free today.  Run to Him!  Forgiveness is Possible, In Jesus Name! 

A HOPE ONCE AND FOR ALL

Are you hurting?

Have you been betrayed?

Do you feel lonely?

Are you looking for acceptance?

Is your struggle bigger then you?

Are you overwhelmed?

Has anxiety taken over your life?

I'm not sure who this particular blog is for........ But I have good news for you!  I have an answer to your need.  I know someone that can take the hurt away and heal your wound.  I adore a man that is for me and not against me.  I met a man that promises to never leave me nor forsake me.  I honor a man that embraces me through my good times and bad times.  I acknowledge a man that stands in front of my struggle and reminds me that He is in control.  I know a man that can provide a peace that will surpass all understanding.  I have found someone that SPEAKS peace to the storm surrounding me, and that storm has to cease. 

Has your heart been broken?

Have your dreams been stolen or shattered?

Is there fear in your life that you just can't explain?

Is there any room for love anymore?

Are you hopeless?

I have good news for you!  I have an answer to your need.  I know someone that can mend your broken heart.  I know a man that restores your visions and dreams.  I acknowledge a man that says I can trust in Him for all things.  I have found someone, and His name is LOVE and HE has so much of it to give.  I met the MASTER of HOPE! 

This man's name is JESUS!  He is my Savior, Master, Lord, Lover of my Soul, Redeemer, Lifter of my Head, Shelter, Comforter, Healer, Provider, and Joy!  He's everything I want, everything I hope in.  He has done a work in me and I'm ever grateful.  When I look at how far the Lord has brought me, I can't help but be thankful for His mercies that are new every morning.  

I want to encourage you today to come to the Father!  If you are in need of healing, love, peace, comfort, etc.... God is waiting to hear from you.  This life is not a perfect life, and no one has a perfect story.  But I know a God that is perfect and doesn't make mistakes.  When God made you..... He made perfection thru Jesus.  We are not perfect, but perfect through His Son Jesus Christ. 


His word says you can stand.  He'll cover you with His grace.  Everything you need is in your hand, so lift up your head and say.......

All things are working for me.  Even things I can't see.  Your ways are so beyond me.  But you said that you would let it be for my good.  So I'll rest and just believe. 

~Fred Hammond~

1 Timothy 1:15-17
This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it.  "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" and I am the worst of them all.  But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of His great patience with even the worst sinners.  Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in Him and receive eternal life.  All honor and glory to God forever and ever!  He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; He alone is God.  Amen.